White board saves the day!

I don't know why it is, but this little white board hanging on our refrigerator has been the best thing for our family. Things go so much smoother and the hubs and I end up working so well together if I keep it up daily. I've always kept daily to-do lists but they have always been on paper, in my circa, in my home management binder, etc. Is it because this is so easy to see? Is it because it's so easy to change? Probably some of both and more.

Here's a quick overview of how we do this:

Every evening, after Carter is in bed, Jon and I sit down in front of the TV and work on projects or just veg - it's our little quiet time. At some point, I'll grab my home management binder which includes a calendar on which I write pretty much anything going on and my daily to-do list. I transfer all the information for the next day onto the white board and add anything else we need to do including all the little things that I don't normally write in my binder - like unload the dishwasher or a detailed list of the trash needing to be taken out, just so Jon is aware of EVERYTHING needing to be done, even the little things in my head and can help if I get behind.

We start the next day by trying to get everything done on the list, starting with the most urgent. Usually by lunch / nap time I can see where we are at and how the day is going and can start prioritizing by what I think we can reasonably get done by the end of the day. I put an "E" for evening next to the items we can do after Carter goes to bed, an "A" for things to finish in the afternoon and an "N" for things that are not necessary and can be moved to the next day. The little spot in the lower right corner is for items we run out of that I need to transfer to my grocery list. As you can see, we don't get everything done in a day. But that's ok, moving forward is still progress!

For whatever reasons it works, we'll keep it up. I like seeing all those little red checks at the end of the day!

MIA?... Yeah, pretty much....

Here's a quick run down on what's been happening with our little family and then on to new posts about the recent Christmas celebrations and new projects!

In case you didn't notice the oh so small change in the "About Me" box - we are expecting another baby in April! This will be our 4th baby, the 2nd (Lord willing) to be placed in our arms and care. Needless to say, dealing with pregnancy woes and a toddler running around has moved blogging to the back burner. Baby bump pictures forthcoming!

The most life altering event (yes, even more than being pregnant) happened over the summer / fall. You may have noticed random posts about Jon's grandparents, I never really did say much about what was going on.

Grandpa on his last birthday here on earth.

Right after Carter was born, Grandpa went in for open heart surgery. After starting the operation, the Doctors found lung cancer and closed him up without performing the heart surgery. He did fine for a little over a year, but early this spring he started to decline along with some health problems for Grandma. It's a very long story about what happened, but it was one of the most difficult and most touching times in our lives. We spent a lot of time over there taking care of them, the whole family pitched in, it was amazing. Grandpa passed away at home in October and to the very end he never complained and only showed love and concern for his family. I've only seen one other testimony to the power and work of the Lord Jesus in someones life like that. Anyone who knew this man was privileged indeed.

Grandpa's last time outside - we made him breakfast.

48 hours after Grandpa died, the whole family got on planes to Wisconsin for Jon's brothers wedding. Anyone who has dealt with a family wedding (especially one that involves major travel) knows how stressful the months leading up to such an event can be. Because we were all dealing with Grandpa at the same time, it became quite an emotional few months. Then add in 2 pregnant women - one of them dealing with the fear of a third miscarriage (me and Jon's cousins wife) and you have a recipe for disaster! Amazingly, the entire family walked away relatively unscathed.

(Yes, tiny baby bump here!)

We were so blessed to be able to rent an entire house for the week where the whole family plus groomsmen stayed. It was (even with the stress of the wedding) a relief to have the week between Grandpa's death and the funeral together having a little bit of fun. Sadly, Grandma wasn't with us.

P.S. Carter did GREAT on the plane!

So that was our summer and fall in the smallest nutshell I can get it. I have several posts in the works, most of them about projects I've been working on and some about Christmas and some of them covering both topics! So I hope you all with stick with me as I get back into the blogging swing, there will be some really great stuff and lots of changes coming up!

Perfection

I've been having a hard time lately, a lot of it dealing with perfection.
I look around my house and see dirty dishes, papers piled on the kitchen table, floors with crumbs and dirt, bathrooms and kitchen badly in need of a cleaning, piles of laundry in various stages and miscellaneous items in all sorts of places and it upsets me.
I remember growing up and the house was always clean, vacuumed every day, hardly anything out of place, bathrooms and kitchen got cleaned once a week with a wipe down mid week, laundry was done twice a week and finished the same day it was started, homeschooling was accomplished, dinner was on the table. Mom was a good housekeeper.
I talked to Jon last night about it, expressing my frustration with my lack of house keeping ability. He pointed out some "complications". Carter is a busy, exploring, mess making 16 month old BOY. Sydney, our pooch, is quite a messy handful herself - and we've got discipline issues with her. Both Jon and I have auto-immune diseases that complicate matters. We've lost 2 babies this year. We have both sides of the family close, so there is more activity and some of them (grandparents) have needed help. Jon works 2 - 24 hour shifts and is home the rest of the week, both being gone and being home cause their own set of complications. We have an older house that needs lots of work. And the list goes on.
So why, then, do I feel like such a failure? Why do I feel like I have to keep everything in a constant state of perfection no matter what my circumstances are? Some of it is the way I was raised, I'm sure. Dad demanded perfection no matter what and you were in trouble if you didn't - probably part of the reason why my mom was such a good house keeper. Some of it may be pride (no explanation needed on that one!). Some of it is the culture - have it all and do it all. But no matter what the reason, or combination of reasons - I need to stop. Stop striving for the perfect house, perfect family, perfect ability to do things for others. And that's not to say that I shouldn't try. But I shouldn't become discouraged, upset or angry when it doesn't happen. There is a lot on my plate, I tend to forget that.
Another thing that was pointed out to me by both Jon and my mom - enjoy life, enjoy my family, my son. Children are precious and grow fast, you only have one chance to make memories and if you are spending all your time cleaning and stressed, that's all they'll remember. I should know, I grew up that way. There was very little fun or joy, just chores. Mom tried in small ways - I remember watching Little House on the Prairie during breakfast and lunch. Reading "The Youngins", laughing so hard until we cried. Once we got older and Dad retired even that was gone. Hopefully I'll remember (if not I'll just have to come back and read this post) and try to make fun memories with my family.
So with that in mind, I just called my sister to see if she wants to go to the park with Carter and I. We haven't showered or dressed yet, but we can do that later - "It's ok to re-arrange the day", I am reminding myself. Kashia is home NOW and the weather is nice NOW - let's make the memory NOW before the moment passes.

Anniversary Card

I'm going through old photos this morning, trying to get them organized. I came across this one of an anniversary card I made for Jon's grandparents last fall. Perhaps the last anniversary card I will ever make them.

I don't like to put medical related news on the internet, especially if it's not mine - but, please pray for them, the family and the Dr's and nurses involved if you feel so inclined - it's been rough on everyone, both physically and emotionally and a lot of people are hurting right now.

Carter with Great Grandpa and Grandma

Thanksgiving 2010

The Family

Thanksgiving 2010

Jon's parents, Grandparents, brothers and us

Of love and of loss

My sweet little boy is one today. I am miscarrying our second child today. I am happy and sad at the same time.
As I sit here, I am holding Carter in my arms (he fell asleep without even having breakfast this morning) and waiting for my other child to leave my body. Fullness and emptiness.
Two years in a row I have experienced contractions on the same two days, one time it brought me a healthy child and one time it left me with no one to hold. Two children, two very different outcomes.

One I have gotten to hold, nurse, watch grow and learn, and yes, discipline. The other I haven't seen, I'll never hold or see grow. One the memories have pictures, sounds, events. The other the memories are in my mind, my heart, my body. I love both of my babies, each one has a special place in my heart even though their lives are vastly different. Each one has changed my life in its own way.
I am thankful for both of my children's lives, I have been blessed by being their Mama.