As I sit here, I am holding Carter in my arms (he fell asleep without even having breakfast this morning) and waiting for my other child to leave my body. Fullness and emptiness.
Two years in a row I have experienced contractions on the same two days, one time it brought me a healthy child and one time it left me with no one to hold. Two children, two very different outcomes.
One I have gotten to hold, nurse, watch grow and learn, and yes, discipline. The other I haven't seen, I'll never hold or see grow. One the memories have pictures, sounds, events. The other the memories are in my mind, my heart, my body. I love both of my babies, each one has a special place in my heart even though their lives are vastly different. Each one has changed my life in its own way.
I am thankful for both of my children's lives, I have been blessed by being their Mama.