Pursuing with a passion what HE has called me to do

Pursuing with a passion what HE has called me to do

Monday, January 17, 2011

Of love and of loss

My sweet little boy is one today. I am miscarrying our second child today. I am happy and sad at the same time.
As I sit here, I am holding Carter in my arms (he fell asleep without even having breakfast this morning) and waiting for my other child to leave my body. Fullness and emptiness.
Two years in a row I have experienced contractions on the same two days, one time it brought me a healthy child and one time it left me with no one to hold. Two children, two very different outcomes.

One I have gotten to hold, nurse, watch grow and learn, and yes, discipline. The other I haven't seen, I'll never hold or see grow. One the memories have pictures, sounds, events. The other the memories are in my mind, my heart, my body. I love both of my babies, each one has a special place in my heart even though their lives are vastly different. Each one has changed my life in its own way.
I am thankful for both of my children's lives, I have been blessed by being their Mama.


Missy said...

What a great testamint to your faith. I am so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I have never experienced the loss of a miscarriage, and can only imagine what you are going through. My thoughts and prayers will be with all of you.

Hugs to you,

Anonymous said...

My dear sweet child!! My heart is breaking for all of us. The tears are rolling down my cheeks (not a good thing as I am at work). God will take care of you in all your sorrow and pain. Love and cherish our Carter, but we will never forget our lost one.

I love you so very much! Mom